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Discover Your Love Style.

Love Styles are the result of successful or unsuccessful bonding and attachment experiences in our family of origin. Positive experiences create a Secure Attachment and less successful experiences result in the wounded attachment styles of Avoider, Pleaser, Vacillator, Controller and Victim.

Milan and Kay Yerkovich identified 5 Love Styles that inform the way connect to others- Avoider, Pleaser, Vacillator, Controller, and Victim- with the goal of becoming a Secure Connector. Learn about the 5 Love Styles & Secure Connector below.

The Avoider

THE AVOIDER

“I like people but I’m not very comfortable when they get emotional or needy around me. I like to keep it simple—it’s so much easier when people just take care of themselves like I do.”

The Pleaser

THE PLEASER

“I enjoy caring for others and work hard at making those I love happy. I’m not great at saying “No” or keeping boundaries, but anything is better than having people upset with me.”

The Vacillator

THE VACILLATOR

“I long for close connection in relationships but people always let me down. I spend a lot of time in my head trying to process all the disappointments and wonder why relationships are hard.”

The Controller

THE CONTROLLER

“I don’t like being outside of my comfort zone, so I always make sure I’m the one in charge. That way I know for sure that I won’t be taken advantage of.” 

The Victim

THE VICTIM

“I keep my needs quiet, and honestly, I’m not even sure what my needs are. It’s safer when I just go with the flow—there’s less opportunity for a blow-up.”

THE SECURE CONNECTOR

“I am comfortable with myself and with others, able to handle conflict, negative emotions, giving and receiving. When I need help I’m not afraid to ask for it.”