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Discover Your Love Style.

Love Styles are the result of successful or unsuccessful bonding and attachment experiences in our family of origin. Positive experiences create a Secure Attachment and less successful experiences result in the wounded attachment styles of Avoider, Pleaser, Vacillator, Controller and Victim.

Milan and Kay Yerkovich identified 5 Love Styles that inform the way connect to others- Avoider, Pleaser, Vacillator, Controller, and Victim- with the goal of becoming a Secure Connector. Learn about the 5 Love Styles & Secure Connector below.

The Avoider

THE AVOIDER

“I like people but I’m not very comfortable when they get emotional or needy around me. I like to keep it simple—it’s so much easier when people just take care of themselves like I do.”

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The Pleaser

THE PLEASER

“I enjoy caring for others and work hard at making those I love happy. I’m not great at saying “No” or keeping boundaries, but anything is better than having people upset with me.”

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The Vacillator

THE VACILLATOR

“I long for close connection in relationships but people always let me down. I spend a lot of time in my head trying to process all the disappointments and wonder why relationships are hard.”

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The Controller

THE CONTROLLER

“I don’t like being outside of my comfort zone, so I always make sure I’m the one in charge. That way I know for sure that I won’t be taken advantage of.” 

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The Victim

THE VICTIM

“I keep my needs quiet, and honestly, I’m not even sure what my needs are. It’s safer when I just go with the flow—there’s less opportunity for a blow-up.”

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THE SECURE CONNECTOR

“I am comfortable with myself and with others, able to handle conflict, negative emotions, giving and receiving. When I need help I’m not afraid to ask for it.”

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